Michael’s Rantings

We have dramatic irony and Socratic irony. Now there’s billboard irony. I saw this on my last trip to Chicago. The billboard was just outside of St. Louis (full disclosure – this image was pulled from the web) and it took about a nanosecond to get it: if I’m not supposed to get distracted while driving, then why present me with visual stimulation that I have to process while I’m driving?

I agree that texting and talking on the phone while driving is a bad idea. I also think that looking at billboards is distracting and dangerous. Give up texting? Sure! Let’s ban billboards, too!

It’s a bit late for this season, but I really enjoyed this throughout the summer. Garnish with slivered almonds for texture and flavor.

4 C peaches
2/3 C milk
2 oz Kirsch
2 oz white wine
2 T honey
Juice from 1/2 lemon

Wash and pit the peaches and cut into chunks (I like to leave the skin for texture.) Place in blender with milk, Kirsch, wine and lemon juice. Puree until smooth. Chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.

Drizzle with honey and sprinkle with almonds before serving.

I packed my things and moved to Chicago last week, and in the process dug up some old college papers. So, for your amusement, here is a poem I wrote in 1982 for my Creative Writing class at Tulane.

Penis Envy

I have traveled thousands of miles
To public places, where, processed
By dime-slotted toll-booths and turnstiles
I must sit on the contagion of the world.
I have had Penis Envy.

I have wandered in the wilderness
And bared my ass to relieve myself –
Open, vulnerable to the insect’s
Penetrative eye and proboscis.
I have had Penis Envy.